For Fathers

⭐ You want to keep your partner and baby safe

⭐ You want to feel involved

⭐ You want to know what to do

⭐ You want to get it right

I created this resource for all the wonderful men I may be working with in the future, so they can support their partners and facilitate their babies coming into the world in a loving and gentle way.

As a doula I work very closely with men - as the woman travels off in her birth experience and we are left together holding the space here on earth!

You are an essential part of this journey. Although birth is a women’s mystery and that is why your partner has been compelled to seek a woman like me as her guide through the experience, I am here to support both of you and utilise your unique strengths at this time.

Your unconditional support and love has been shown to make births easier and more enjoyable for your partner. Your baby feels your love in the womb as their mother is calm, happy and relaxed. Your baby is reassured by your voice and presence.

You are the key to her relaxation, her anchor as she journeys to another world to bring your baby home.

We NEED your courage, your strength, your protection so that we can do this important work. We need your softness and tenderness. There is nobody like you that is able to make anywhere she is feel like home, and you will already intimately understand the primal and sensual needs of your partner from your shared love together that made your baby. There is nobody who can protect the boundaries like you as your partner fully lets go to give birth.

After birth you are vital for helping your baby develop their sense of self and who they are, the different kinds of love, their individual gifts, separate from mother. A father’s love gives a child confidence to navigate the world, the ability to assert themselves and love another person when they are an adult. You are responsible for showing your child the wider world than the protection of their mother’s arms.

If we think of a bird’s nest - the soft downy inner part of the nest is like a mother’s love. The well-constructed and firm outer part that anchors the nest in the tree is the father’s love. Both are essential for the nurturing safety of the baby birds.

I have been so privileged to work with some incredible conscious fathers and seen the difference it makes to the lives of their families. Thank you for doing this work for your child!

Resources

I always recommend Mark Harris for expectant fathers. As a former male midwife, father and grandfather, Mark’s advice and support to men is down to earth and just what they need to hear. You can buy his book Men, Love and Birth or do his course Birthing4Blokes. He is also available for free short phone calls.

Studies have shown that the father’s support is an important component of whether a woman continues breastfeeding her baby or not. A big part of that is knowing what is normal for a breastfed baby and how to support normal baby feeding patterns and behaviour and protecting the mother from outside interference in those early days. Association of Breastfeeding Mothers offer a free online course for families to prepare them that I highly recommend.

Testimonials from fathers

“Jenny was our Doula for the birth of our second child last week and we both highly recommend her and her services. For various reasons we wanted support in labour the second time round which is why we thought about using a doula in the first place. Jenny brought knowledge and calmness to the who process which was much welcomed.

The birth itself was amazing and Jenny's calming presence was an essential component in allowing mum to follow her inner guidance to facilitate safe passage for our daughter to join the outside world!

Many thanks and would definitely work with Jenny again if we had another child.”

“Jenny was a really important part of our baby's journey from the womb to the world beyond. She was a strong guide, giving understanding, safety, freedom and choice when we met her during the pregnancy.At the crucial time, the witching hour, we called her and she flew to mama's side, filling her ear with peace and wisdom while I flapped around doing strange tasks that emerged during our baby's transition into the outside world.When we first met there was a strange feeling of being unnecessary or not trusted to be a companion or a protector in this vital time, which was good to recognise and talk about with my partner. But it wasn't about being replaced, but having another person on our team, who shared my partner's feelings about birth and motherhood, who had experienced it before, and was passionate about protecting and nurturing the experience.Jenny remains in our lives as parents through her amazing role as keeper of the slings. She is wonderful.