Crown Of Love
I dried them,
Every single vase-full
From where you'd show up at my front door
Smiling and hopeful.
Something about men with flowers
Is so tender and vulnerable.
The flowers were a witness
To every love sigh and trauma cry
Were the background in every photograph
As I let my guard down.
Winter became spring and I wanted to dance
Wanted to catch sun on my shoulders
So I gathered the flowers and weaved them
Raised them up
Crowning me with your love.
- Jenny Wren
5 ways to set intention for a positive birth
I imagine most women wouldn't turn up to their wedding, baby's christening, "hoping it would be ok", with no focussed intention on preparing, on recognising it as the celebration it is. I would suggest birth is even more important than either of these things.
Birth is ceremony, is initiation. As the initiate you spend pregnancy preparing in many ways. Here are my top tips for being intentional in your pregnancy.
1) Setting aside time. This is a big one in our busy lives. Time spent learning about your body and baby, learning techniques for managing birth sensations, resting your body and pleasure seeking through nourishing food, lovemaking, nature.
2) Seeking out non-medical wisdom from a doula. This could be having a doula holding space at your birth, or through one to one birth sessions, through ceremony. Being a doula to me is akin to being a shaman, when I work with women in preparation we are accessing the sacred birth portal together ahead of time, holding space for worries and fears, reasserting our hopes and dreams.
3) Finding community. Mainstream birth groups often perpetuate the medical narrative of handing your body over to professionals. For a positive birth experience I highly recommend Samantha Gadsden Doula groups Home Birth Support Group UK and Freebirth And Emergency Childbirth Support Group UK . Having women around you who are walking similar paths and can remind you of your power is priceless.
4) Time in nature. You ARE nature. There are seasons to nature and to all aspects of womanhood. We don't force a flower to open before it is ready as we know that would destroy its process. Taking time for gentle exercise and breathing in fresh air have huge benefits when preparing for a positive birth. This could be as simple as sitting in the garden with a cup of tea or taking a walk in the local park.
5) Ceremony and ritual. Belief and participation in something you consider sacred has a huge effect on birth. Feeling held by women around you in a mother blessing can fill you with love and strength for the journey ahead. Taking the time for your own private rituals and ceremonies focus your will and your intent on your desired outcome. Writing your fears on paper and burning them. Having a special place you go to say a prayer, leave an offering and really listen to your baby.
🌹Sacred Pregnancy Hypnobirthing
Www.thewomenswitch.com/hypnobirthing
🌹Pregnancy Yoga
Www.thewomenswitch.com/pregnancy-yoga
🌹Doula Services
Www.thewomenswitch.com/birth
Hands Busy Heart Open
I call this "hands busy heart open", one of the many things I do as a doula. Applying counterpressure during surges, and when they ease I am resting with mama, watching without looking, waiting with confidence. I may use the quiet time to check on the birth pool, to communicate with others in the room if necessary.
It becomes a rhythm, and you get to feel with her when the next one is coming. One of my fondest memories from a birth is us all, myself, mother and father dozing on the sofa between surges, then getting swiftly back to action when another one came!
As labour progresses you'll usually find me sat on the birthing ball at the side of the pool - sometimes still giving counterpressure (something I did once leaning over the pool while heavily pregnant myself!), holding gas and air, stroking the hair back from mama's face.
There is always a moment when she begins to bear down and the familiar noise brings a smile to my face. The father looks at me - "is this still okay?" his eyes are saying, taken aback by the strength of the sound that he was told would come, yet in the moment it seems more powerful and primal than he could have imagined.
"Yes" my smile replies "yes things are unfolding perfectly"
Photograph of myself as doula at an incredible home birth, shared with kind permission
