The Rosary
One of the most moving things I've ever seen was a grandma praying the rosary at a birth. In a way that I didn't yet understand, I knew I was in the presence of a sacred devotion.
I didn't have any idea that I would one day become a daily devotee of the rosary myself, that I would pray it silently at birth, beads slipping through my hands, weaving a web of love and protection.
My children know that after breakfast is done is mama's time for prayer. I sometimes pray in the evening too if I need to quiet my mind. Often a little person will stand behind me quietly waiting for a gap between the prayers, to ask a question, to ask for assistance. In this sense the rosary is a mother's spiritual practice - it is easily paused, set down, transported.
The rosary teaches us that joy, sorrow and glory go round in a circle, that we are held within this cycle always. It reminds us we are never alone. Marianne Williamson talks about God in her book "Return To Love", saying that when we are young we hate the idea of a higher power being in control, and as we mature we are relieved to find that it is so.
I will often send a quick prayer, a "Memorare", on request. I am in daily habit of handing things over and on dark days and light days the repetition and the habit are soothing to me.
I highly recommend the book "The Way Of The Rose" if you want to learn more about this ancient form of Goddess devotion.
May loving thoughts prevail always.
Love Jenny xxx
Love And Consciousness
My femininity
Is not a gift he gives to me.
It exists in the dance
Between Love and Consciousness
As I make my body softer, make my breaths slower
As I listen and move to my inner song.
There is a man who is as silent as a sunset
And I thought I needed all the words from him
Like so many men before-
"Can't live without you, can't bear the thought
Of not getting to touch you"
So desperate for sweet nothings
In place of a real something
(The truth, I am indescribable)
When what I needed was to be witnessed
So I could sink further into tenderness.
I am a tornado of wanting
I am a well of love
That will draw you into the deep
From which you drink and taste life.
- Jenny Wren
The First Frost
"Can't let no outside world touch Mary's ground." - Marie Babineau, The Birth House
Devotion has been my word of this last year, I recently realised.
What are you devoted to? What do you serve outside yourself? What keeps your feet walking straight along the crooked path? When things get difficult, what steers your ship?
In the story of the Holy Grail the magic question is asked - whom does the Grail serve?
My devotion to Our Lady has me standing in the cold grass, has me excavating my heart for what it is I truly want, digging through the soil to find what is old and real and true, has me weaving spells of prayer and pausing mindfully throughout the day. I bear my swords with a humble pride and I always want to do better, to see with more love, to remember that it is all that is real.
I am devoted to initiation, so much so that I am holding myself back. I believe in the wisdom of the body over what can be learned in a book. I believe in this wisdom helping others cross over being irreplaceable. Like The Chariot in the Tarot, I want to charge forth and speak about what I know. Just as my freebirth gave me the fulfilment of my heart's deepest truth and calling for me to carry out into the world, I have not yet been cracked open in the way I need to be, to lead in the way that I want to. This frustration fills my body and encourages a surrender and a patience.
And yet - I have a lover I am devoted to because he carried me across the battlefield of one of my worst creations and has earned it a hundred times over.
My friends who have taught me so much about unconditional love, I am devoted to them. How we navigate sharing our thoughts and feelings in a world that is increasingly polarised never fails to blow me away, how we grow each other's patience and acceptance daily. How we show up with love and humour whenever possible. And a deep acceptance.
- the first frost
