"Can't let no outside world touch Mary's ground." - Marie Babineau, The Birth House
Devotion has been my word of this last year, I recently realised.
What are you devoted to? What do you serve outside yourself? What keeps your feet walking straight along the crooked path? When things get difficult, what steers your ship?
In the story of the Holy Grail the magic question is asked - whom does the Grail serve?
My devotion to Our Lady has me standing in the cold grass, has me excavating my heart for what it is I truly want, digging through the soil to find what is old and real and true, has me weaving spells of prayer and pausing mindfully throughout the day. I bear my swords with a humble pride and I always want to do better, to see with more love, to remember that it is all that is real.
I am devoted to initiation, so much so that I am holding myself back. I believe in the wisdom of the body over what can be learned in a book. I believe in this wisdom helping others cross over being irreplaceable. Like The Chariot in the Tarot, I want to charge forth and speak about what I know. Just as my freebirth gave me the fulfilment of my heart's deepest truth and calling for me to carry out into the world, I have not yet been cracked open in the way I need to be, to lead in the way that I want to. This frustration fills my body and encourages a surrender and a patience.
And yet - I have a lover I am devoted to because he carried me across the battlefield of one of my worst creations and has earned it a hundred times over.
My friends who have taught me so much about unconditional love, I am devoted to them. How we navigate sharing our thoughts and feelings in a world that is increasingly polarised never fails to blow me away, how we grow each other's patience and acceptance daily. How we show up with love and humour whenever possible. And a deep acceptance.
- the first frost
