Why I don't call myself vegan anymore...
This post has been swirling round my head for days as I try to find the right words and I know this will be hard to hear for some. I've considered myself vegan for five years, vegetarian for a decade before that. I was vegan through pregnancy, breastfeeding, living in a domestic violence refuge, raising two children as a single mother. I have chosen to go hungry rather than eat something that wasn't vegan. Really, being vegan is easy. I am used to it. I never liked eating animals. Being part of a movement made me feel good. Reducing death seemed like a cause I absolutely wanted to be behind. I guess what differentiates me from other vegans right off the bat is I don't believe that humans are herbivores... but I still didn't agree with factory farming or want to consume animal products in any way.
As I have gone further on my spiritual journey especially through my work with the dark Goddess and birth... marvelling at the fear of death that drives obstetrics... the resistance to biology in birth work, the fear of death that is dominating our current lives and liberties. My ego led me to believe that I was above such fears. Yet as I delved deeper into my preconceived notions, I felt the burn of hypocrisy as the crone laughed at me. I realised that refusing to consume animal products even from a young age was my own fear of death and my refusal to be part of the cycle of life. Our blood growing the plants that feeds the animals who feed us. Denying this was disconnecting me from my ancestors and the wheel of the year. It was humbling. I am still working out what that means to me. It is scary.
My journey into druid work is opening my eyes to grey areas everywhere, I know my passion can often lead me into absolutes and causes, I am learning that there are many kinds of truths and am wary of anything that calls itself the answer.
But for now - I am still mostly plant-based for my own convenience as it has been such a long time since I was otherwise. I am consciously trying to resist ideologies and movements, to maintain the ability to evaluate situations as they arise. I choose accepting hospitality and suspending judgment. I will eat what I feel like eating and recognise that for the immense privilege that it is and an advantage of my beautifully designed body. I am just at the beginning.
