My womb opens with a cry and a shriek
This dark November night.
I felt the labour pains wracking my body and gripped my own hips this evening
Like I would do for a mama.
Doula to myself
As I drank tea and ate birthday cake.
Pip said,
I didn't look in pain, I looked strong
"With you sat like that, hands on hips
You look like a woman
Ready to be the boss."
I am ready.
My womb today
Is the Morrigan thundering across the battlefields of Ireland
My womb today
Is Kali Ma crowning Shiva.
We of the old ways know this is no gentle birth
She is his death bridging into life.
I have felt not of this world for days now
Wandering in the darkness of the moon
And as the pains grip my body
It suddenly hits me
A freezing cold night
Exactly eight years ago now, the pain portal
Through which I journeyed to meet God.
To the boy and to the blood,
Who pass through my body like holy storms
Eight years apart, though time itself loses meaning
In a cycle within a cycle so deep
Oh I longed for you
I longed for you.
My womanhood flows through fertile soil
In rivers of red, dark, damp, death
And through you I am reborn.
I said to my lover I thought I was more than half animal
Now this body reminds me I am animal all.
- Jenny Wren
