To my third child

They say that in the beginning of pregnancy 

The soul moves in and out of the womb

Dancing between body and formlessness

And then fully entering

Incarnation.

Heavy with child I inch into the womb of the sea mother

Going deeper and then retreating

As the shock of her chill transfixes my skin

A mixture of pleasure and pain.

Some days I have been braver than this,

Plunging belly and breasts under with abandon

And laughing at those with more trepidation.

Some days I am the trepidatious one

Needing the encouragement of those who have gone before.

I think for souls it is the same.

My first two children - thrusting themselves into reality

From formlessness to form

And now this one

Who made the long journey to the womb like I have made into the sea.

Come closer, my love, let your courage be stronger than your fear.

Now we are both here

Incarnate in the vastness of ocean and time

Two souls

Within a body within a womb

Within a body

Within a womb 

Words written by myself as I swam in the sea in West Wales a few weeks ago

Photographs by the incredibly talented @sarahbeatricephotography

The woman I used to be

The woman I used to be in 2017 - haunted and dead behind the eyes after a year and a half of domestic abuse, that reached it's peak in the postpartum period. This woman was about to become so terrified of what she was experiencing she would pack as much as she could in the space of an hour and leave her home, collect her eldest child early from school, and begin a journey of homelessness (that lasted six months) and family court (that lasted three years).

This would also be the beginning of my conscious womb healing journey. I say conscious because I believe we are always on a healing journey, always seeking resolution and revisiting the same circumstances in the hopes that things will be different this time. I needed answers as to why I had ended up in this situation.

The womb gave me the answer - and it completely blew my mind.

Despite two powerful births, there was still so much more to discover in the womb.

When you connect to the voice of the womb you realise she was always there. Womb healing is about unravelling the layers of conditioning that stifled her voice. Meeting the primal voice within that always knows what is going on. We can be afraid to venture there, because maybe we don't want to hear what she has to say. But like a loving grandmother, the medicine the womb has to offer is both bitter and sweet. Unconditional love isn't flowery and "nice". Sometimes it's tearing it all down and starting again.

Coming to the last two months of this beautiful healing pregnancy with the most gentle man by my side ❤️

The three spirals of womb awakening

There are three spirals for womb awakening, practices that you follow deeper and deeper into womb consciousness.

🌹 1. The heart-womb river practice. In this powerful practice we awaken the communication flow between the heart and the heart of the womb, and restore it's original blueprint. Instead of using it to send fear and pain to be stored in the womb, we become able to send our desires as seeds to be nurtured and grown through the womb space.

🌹 2. Conscious menstruation. A conscious menstruation practice enables us to release the energies of the month, and anything we may have picked up from others that we do not wish to store in the womb for them. This often includes shamanic practices to enter altered states of womb consciousness, physical rest, wisdom channelling and a practice of returning our blood to the earth.

🌹 3. Devotion to the Motherline and the red thread. This for many women is the biggest barrier to womb awakening, as we come to understand that our mother's womb is our portal to the womb of the holy mother. This wounding can also be held in the second grail gate of the womb. Through connecting to our line of maternal grandmothers we experience miracles and blessings moving up and down our red thread. We come to understand the womb as a place beyond time and space, where anything is possible.

I have so much to share about these sacred practices in my online courses Sacred Womb Journeys and The Medicine Wheel of the Womb.