Motherhood Dismantling

Motherhood is a dismantling.

When you face comments and criticism for your birth choices - this is preparing you for defending your child against the world. For trusting your intuition and your wisdom.

For saying actually, you know best. From the beginning.

Are you the highest authority over your body and baby?

Will you make that known from the start?

Will you teach that to your children?

When you feel like the baby will never come, again you are asking to surrender, to let go of control.

When you hand it over to your child's timeline, passing along trust and acceptance of the unknown.

When you mother that tiny baby and face again the questions and the comments, how has your preparation led you to manage this moment?

Will you take that deep self-love and acceptance of yourself and gift that to your child?

Knowing that openly living your values is threatening to others.

Soon you will realise you are being taken apart, piece by piece, and rebuilt as the mother you were born to be.

And each challenge will take you deeper.

The Power

My will scares even me.

I deliberately craft my reality.

Lovers, summoned.

Enemies duly banished

When you're protected

You make them vanish.

I set things in motion

Used to run from the power.

Hide from it.

It called me again

I play with fire

I play with blood.

Play with the breath and beating

Of my heart

Wake up

Gasping and alive

With the potent

Possibility

Of this life.

Girls Just Wanna Have Fun

Girls just want to have fun.

One of my friends posted a meme earlier along the lines of - if you could tell your 15 year old self five words what would they be?

Through my head ran warnings, style advice, so many things that I could tell myself to change my life just a little but not too much, to make myself happier and more positive. Don't worry about exams, do your hair different, tell that person you like them? No.

I realised "you're allowed to have fun" was enough ❤

Even as a young girl I struggled giving myself permission to let go, to be free, to not feel like there was an angry person constantly over my shoulder telling me I wasn't working hard enough, I was going to end up pregnant, I was selfish, irresponsible. Call it Catholic guilt or whatever you like, but my inner critic was very big and very real. I let so many joys pass me by.

Or I took them guiltily and secretly and waited for my cosmic punishment.

Then I realised that this advice was perfect for me and for women everywhere right now. Patriarchy has convinced us we are made to toil and suffer and having fun makes us 'bad girls'.

I see women beating themselves up, martyring themselves, measuring their worth based on how much they give to others. You are already valuable because you are human. You were born to play, to sing, to dance and to have fun.

We have so much maiden wounding among women where we feel guilty and selfish for chasing what makes us feel good. After your bleed as you enter that playful, explorative mood, how can you heal, cast off the critic and learn to have fun again?