Why Antenatal Education Is Different With A Doula | Jenny Wren

It can be hard for pregnant women to know where to turn for, for support and unbiased information. Some women might be reluctant to attend group sessions, particularly if they’ve had a previous traumatic experience or could particularly benefit from one-to-one planning or support. I offer women private antenatal education as part of my services, so that they can benefit from having a doula without having me at the birth!

1.       We have been there and done it

There is a quote that I read one that said “Ask the doulas. They know the hospital culture.” And I think that is so true. Wherever you are planning to birth, in whichever trust, what a huge benefit to be able to talk to somebody who has worked in that environment or has liaised with senior midwives, who can signpost you in the right direction and let you know what to expect.

2.       We aren’t teaching a program

Although I love the antenatal classes such as Daisy Birthing, and would recommend them to everybody, there isn’t always much time for discussion of individual circumstances and specific planning. A doula can give you bespoke support tailored to YOU, to complement all your existing antenatal preparation. It also means that we provide you with the most recent material and studies on which to base your decisions.

3.       We don’t have an agenda

Unlike healthcare professionals, doulas do not have a set of guidelines to work to, we have a code of conduct. We are truly able to make you aware of your legal rights and support you unconditionally in whatever choice you make.

4.       We are available outside traditional working hours

Many doulas I know are there to answer those late night worries, we don’t have a set time (although some of us have working hours in our contracts!) That means whenever you need support, we will be there. Whether that is one to one or in the online support groups.

5.       We don’t tell you what to do

We won’t tell you which position to birth your baby in, we won’t tell you what things “should” feel like, we won’t tell you where to birth or how to feed, we are simply there to make sure you are informed and feel supported in your plans.

6.       We offer continuity of care

You can talk to us through your whole motherhood journey – pre-conception, early pregnancy, postnatally. For that familiar voice and presence you know and trust, you can count on your doula.

Many doulas I know are happy to offer a free initial chat before being booked for antenatal and/or birth support.

Feedback on my antenatal support:

“A wonderful, empowering and supportive lady. Always there to support choices and restore confidence when insecurities and anxieties creep in. She is refreshing, informative and never passes judgement. I could not have got through my pregnancy without this lady. I will always value what she brought me during a challenging but special time in my life. Thank you.”

Thoughts On Freebirth, A Year On | Jenny Wren

Thoughts on freebirth, one year on

When my daughter turned one I began to think more about her birth and the experience.

Since that wonderful day, I have appeared on the BBC, the radio, had awful and great things said about me (I refuse to read the awful ones!)

People were so offended by a woman prioritising her needs in birth, by refusing to follow their ingrained narrative!

I know now that my desire to freebirth changed so much for me. For me it was about proving to myself that childbirth was fundamentally safe, that the woman’s experience was paramount to its safety. That I was the one in charge. That trust has woven its way into my life and my work and given innumerable benefits to myself and clients.

My son’s birth allowed me to process a lot of the body shame and hatred I had carried around with me, he taught me that I was built for birthing. It was a euphoric realisation. I had set out to prove to myself that I could do it. I knew then that I could do anything.

My daughter’s birth helped me release all my birth hangups. You cannot work in the birth field for long without being exhausted by what you see and hear from other women. I must admit, by the time it came for me to give birth, I had lost my way somewhat. I wanted to know, once and for all, what a truly physiological birth was. And I saw it. I felt it. As the intensity gripped my body and I flushed and shook, as I felt her wriggle between contractions, slide her head into place, and denied I was in labour until the very end.

My favourite memory is hovering in that in-between space, hearing Carolyn Hillyer singing the song about giving birth to a fish with a moon between its lips, neither here nor there, my eyes wide and wondrous, seeing Sam’s wry smile and her eyes dancing with mirth.

Me, laughing, the antenatal teacher saying “Oh no” as she anticipated another contraction. Operating on instinct rather than instruction.

The way I just knew that I needed to change the position to allow her to slot into my pelvis with ease. But didn’t realise until later.

Her birth taught me the deep connection that women have during labour, I recall how acutely aware I was of everything. I can still remember the amazing feeling of sinking into a birth pool that is the perfect temperature. 

I know more than I did then - and I would still choose my choice. 

The mother that was born this time is a fierce one. When you are pregnant you are watching, waiting, growing. Autumn-Violet, the energy building in my body. As she was born she awakened my protective nature, set me on a long and tumultuous journey in reclaiming my power and myself.

Happy birthday my love, my catalyst.

When I think of your birth I think

Joy

Warmth

Love

Euphoria

Release

Thank You For Breastfeeding My Baby | Jenny Wren

When women support each other, magical things happen!

I so wanted to do some training with women's aid to be a domestic violence ambassador, as the day drew nearer I expressed some milk for Autumn-Violet but I knew it was largely pointless, as she has never had a bottle!

My wonderful friend Pipi was having the children and I mentioned to her that if she wanted to breastfeed Vi, that was fine by me.

Both the children weren't even bothered when I left and it was with a happy heart I knew they were in loving, capable hands.

At lunch time I could feel myself coming down with a migraine and I rang Pipi to see how the babies were doing. My suspicions were correct, the bottle had been chucked aside, and my darling baby was napping after having familiar vegan breastmilk from her brother's mama.

It meant the world to me that she was able to do this for my baby.

Thank you for breastfeeding my baby.

Thank you for looking after her like your own.

Thank you for giving her comfort when I could not.

Thank you for supporting me to reach my dreams.

Thank you for helping me to help others.

In some Arabic cultures they believe in "milk siblings" where if you have fed another woman's baby they become siblings to your own children, it warms my heart that they are now siblings twice over!