To My Son On Father's Day | Jenny Wren

To you, the world is a world of women. Is run by women. Women who cuddle and wipe noses and go on adventures. Of grandmas and nannys and auntie Julies and auntie Pips. I see the baby's wide eyes as a man speaks, those rare times we encounter them.

The way we live is not wrong.

Still, my heart does hurt somewhat when you speaks of going to your "children's mummy's house" when you are a man. You have no idea that things for other children are so different.

My darling, the most wonderful men I know were raised by single mothers.

What sort of dad will you be, my son?

When you ask me why I did not birth you at home, when you laugh at the baby latching onto your nose confusing you for boobies, when you tell me you just love her too much, you can't cope.

I want to preserve your sweetness.

My son, you who I poured my love into in those crucial years, wanting you to be safe and whole.

To be a man who loves women.

There is a mistaken belief that a man can mistreat women and still be a good father. Children and women are intrinsically linked, two vulnerable groups, biologically entwined, inseparable...

I cannot show you how to be a good father. 

My greatest wish - I want the mother of your children to feel safe with you. To feel respected by you.

That is how you are able to be the man your children need.

Autumn-Violet

Autumn-Violet. I dreamed of you before I knew you. My daughter hidden in my subconscious. Nobody peeked into your womb-home, you lay there undisturbed and grew in strength. On the day of your birth, you were so keen to come, you dropped lower and brought a flush to my cheeks and sweat to my palms. It was all I could do to rock through the sensations that were breaking me open. For the light to shine through. And when you freebirthed into my waiting arms and it was you - it was always going to be you.

Women Don't Fail At Breastfeeding | Jenny Wren

WOMEN DON'T FAIL AT BREASTFEEDING

The odds are against them before they even begin.

Feeding their babies in a culture that is not conducive to optimum infant care.

For breastfeeding to happen, we need a culture:

⭐ where women aren't stressed about going back to work

⭐ where feeding a baby hourly isn't seen as spoiling them

⭐ where men don't complain about the mother-baby dyad taking over the bed

⭐ where birth interventions that affect breastfeeding rarely happen

⭐ where breasts aren't sexualised

⭐ where women see other women breastfeeding from childhood

⭐ where women's mental health after birth is prioritised

⭐ where people don't insist on "helping" by removing the baby from the mother rather than removing her responsibilities so she can care for her baby.

It's a wonder anybody manages to breastfeed under these conditions.

My heart hurts for those who wanted to feed and did not have the support and the information.

We can turn our anger towards other women (like the media encourage) or we can turn it at the institutions that divide us and fail us.

I will always champion choice but our choices do not exist in a vacuum - there is no doubt in my mind that many women never stood a chance.