I fondle the leaves of yarrow, so soft and feathery. The whisper from the plant... you can be soft and have boundaries too. For wounded women who give too much, who love too much, who overextend, yarrow is soul medicine.
On a healing journey we can sometimes misinterpret the well-meaning advice "have boundaries". What does that mean? How do you start saying no after a lifetime of saying yes? When the irritation rises and you know that a line, somewhere, has been crossed with your sacred self, how do you approach that with a loved one?
In the beginning we may construct boundaries like electric fences, ending relationships when the irritation rises. We choose to remove rather than repair and we lose a lot of good people that way.
We swing wildly back and forth between people-pleasing and then ostracising. We villainise the humanness of others. We slip into the role of victim, and we become the hero who takes away our own discomfort, preventing true growth.
Because it is hard to love somebody in a healthy way. Because we were never taught how. Because personal responsibility is a new way of being. Now we are required to truly listen to ourselves and others, to navigate relationships without a list of rules, but by feeling in and tuning in, in each moment.
Yarrow says...
I can love you and say no
Conflict is not an emergency
The repair is more important than the rupture
Ahava
Jenny xxx