I used to live for that moment
When cruel men turned calm
Their breathing slowed
Their head on my chest
Like all their pain had vanished
In a second.
The dance of my love was based around
This fairytale alchemy
My longing to see
Their surrender
To the altar
That is woman.
Their heartache was the illness
I sought to cure
Their anger, the symptom.
Until my body rebelled
In gasping, pounding panic
Shuddering and screaming
Daughter, this way lies certain death.
The lessons, they are growing
As I am fine-tuned
Like an instrument of love.
The lessons
They are nuanced
As I tried to make him dance for me
And he just held my wrists gently
Stroked them with his thumbs
And smiled
Until my shaking subsided.
I see the lesson in the surrender
As I humble myself a little more
Before him.
I am harvesting the healing medicine
Of my love
In the abundance that I planted
For others.
I am shining, he is shining
We are all
Tender and learning
And trying.
- Jenny Wren
