Choice | Jenny Wren

To other people our choices might seem crazy. To one woman an induction for a poorly baby might seem nonsensical, to another waiting for labour to start might seem unimaginable. Who is wrong?

Neither of them are.

Women deserve ALL information. Dismissing valid sources based on personal biases has no place in maternity care. There is no wrong choice. What one person decides is dangerous will be different to another. You have a right to decline care even if it's to the detriment of your health just as you can accept care even if it's to the detriment of your health.

Let us not infantilise women and talk like they need protection from themselves and the big scary internet.

You can make a decision based on top A grade evidence (like only 12% of maternity care guidelines), on the poorest quality study going (bearing in mind some official guidelines don't even have evidence to support them), on the planetary alignments, on what a fortune teller told you, your gut instinct, just how you woke up feeling that day.

I run this page because overwhelmingly women are saying they are NOT satisfied with the information being given to them, or the manner in which it is delivered. Sometimes I wish my job didn't exist at all.It wasn't so long ago delayed cord clamping had a huge evidence base and wasn't standard practice. Current practice is not always best standard. Always research things yourself if it matters to you.

You are intelligent, you are the expert, you are responsible for your body and your baby.

A "Doula" or a "be-la"? | Jenny Wren

I've been thinking lately about my approach to doulaing and how it coincides with the article about Megan Markle where doulas were called a professional "hand-holder".

Some people wrote about how we are much more than that, and the amazing benefits that we bring to birth. All these benefits are evidence-based and reported by mothers. It struck me how we often feel the need to justify our worth in this way.

Just hand-holding is enough.

Still amongst doulas there is huge variation to how we work, and I've noticed more and more in the birth world that people seem to want to be seen to be doing and fixing what I would consider to be normal situations.

The specifics I won't go into here as it's not my place to tell others how to work or what skills to use with their clients. I am not even saying one way is right and one way is wrong. But for me, personally, I see so much that mirrors our medical colleagues, in that an intervention is performed in the hopes of achieving a favourable outcome. The implication being that without this intervention the mother could not have birthed her baby.

All this comes from a deep desire to help but also, I believe, from a discomfort with being "just" a doula or 'hand-holder'.

When did we go from being with women to doing things to them?

When a mother comes to us with a concern or a problem, when did we decide to fix it for her instead of filling her with confidence and self belief?

To me, I am a space holder. I am the ear on the end of the phone as she talks through a difficult decision. The one who listens to her hopes and fears and affirms I believe in her and what she is doing. Often it's a reassurance that everything is normal, is simply a variation. Your baby isn't in position at 28 weeks, your body is designed to birth, 41 weeks is a perfectly normal gestation. Taking our modern cultural narrative of birth and redirecting it to the timeless truths and peace and calm.

I am not a mini midwife, albeit using more palatable interventions to achieve outcomes.

In my own work I often really think about the message we are sending women when we have a million tricks up our sleeves.

I don't take anything to a birth because my presence is enough for all those positive associations doulas have.

To all new doulas - you are enough. Just being is enough. And if you really and truly believe this, you are showing your client you believe that she is enough too.

The Higher World | Jenny Wren

When we were in the higher world

Two souls who had traversed many lifetimes together

We met one day as we were preparing for another adventure--

You looked me earnestly in the eye and told me you wanted to learn about unconditional love.

I smiled as I had been thinking the same thing. We could always read each other's desires.

We made a deal to meet out there, two humans with pain and so much to learn.

An opportunity to grow.

You hurt me, I didn't fight back, the love and the darkness grew and grew like twin forces struggling for dominance. Who would be stronger, which one would win?

Love and hurt and shame forced from my psyche, making me confront years of suffering I had pushed to the side.

Forced out in me a fierce protector that I never knew existed.

Sacrifice. Darkness.

Then, unexpectedly, light.

I don't know how the story ends yet.

My mirror, my twin, the unstoppable force meeting the immovable object.

Our futures entwined.

And we'll meet back there.

In the higher world.

When our work for this lifetime is done.

You'll say, that was a trip!

What shall we do when we go around again?