My Vegan Pregnancy

When I became pregnant with Judah, I had been a vegetarian for around 10 years. All those around me were massively concerned about me getting the right nutrients - I can remember his father making me sit down and eat a plate of broccoli for the iron content.

During my pregnancy with Judah I craved meat and went back to being omnivorous, only reverting back to vegetarianism when he was around one year of age. I was cooking meat and it turned my stomach and I knew I couldn't eat it again.

This pregnancy I have been vegan from the beginning (having lost a stone before pregnancy due to this) and have not had any cravings at all! I firmly believe this is due to the good diet that I eat, I am a healthier vegan than I ever was a vegetarian. My only real craving has been for rosemary and tea tree oil, which I sit huffing like some deranged woman whenever I get the chance! I have been crunching Love Hearts again this pregnancy, it's the only thing I've found that works for heartburn.

I worked on my feet in my last pregnancy and this caused me to stop working at 30 weeks - this time teaching pregnancy movement classes and chasing a toddler has been much better for my body. We have a fairly active lifestyle and are always out and about at parks or on outings in nature.

In early pregnancy I experienced quite a bit of nausea and only wanted to eat curries, loaded with spinach which has great iron content! The thought of any protein turned my stomach for a long time, but when I felt up to it falafel and hummous were the one! As well as vegetarian sausages and chunks of soya which you can add to meals like pies. I have been obsessed with marmite (good for b12 and nausea in pregnancy) and eating marmite and banana sandwiches for lunch. Dom makes the most amazing roasts which are full of butternut squash, parsnips, sweet potatoes and mushrooms, all our meals are heavily loaded with vegetables!

Many pregnant women are slightly anemic (as I am) so I have been taking an iron supplement. Iron deficiency can sometimes be a concern if the woman is at risk of postpartum haemorrhage - the situation can become more dangerous if she loses too much iron with her blood. Interestingly I found a study that associated mild anemia with good birth weight, no incidences of stillbirth, lowest induction and operative delivery rates and better maternal and perinatal outcomes. The body in most cases will always provide the best nutrients to the baby and if anything leave the mother lacking, so I wonder if mild anemia could be attributed to superior placental function? 

The only thing I have to complain about this pregnancy is being big - measuring large here! Such a malnourished vegan baby! ;) and varicose veins, which I can attribute to my hypermobility more than anything, as my ankles struggle to cope with the weight of my body and the pressure is put on my legs.

I feel really great and can't wait to start my vegan breastfeeding journey too!

Bola Ball for Pregnancy and Postpartum

I recently treated myself to something called a 'Bola Ball'... I first heard of them years ago from a friend, but had forgotten until recently.

A bola ball (or harmony ball), from Bali and Indonesia, is a silver chime worn by the mother during her pregnancy. The chain hangs very low, just around or below the belly button. The chimes are very delicate and gentle, providing a calming sound to her unborn baby as the mother goes about her day. One the baby is born the mother shortens the chain, to allow her baby to play with the necklace as it feeds or simply make the transition from the womb to the outside world as gentle and familiar as possible. It is said in Mayan culture that the chime protects the mother, and then the baby too after birth by 'calling the angels' to it. Mothers have also said the chimes remind them of their unborn baby as they go about their busy day.

It has been known for some time that babies can hear in the womb. In our Daisy Baby class we explore the benefits of white noise - for a newborn, going from the constant soothing sounds within your body to the outside world can be stressful. White noise can be used to calm and soothe them, from the mother's gentle 'shh shh' to white noise apps on the phone that play the sound of rain or waves on the beach.

Babies can also recognise music they heard in the womb - there was a study done in the 1980s that showed a mother who frequently watched a soap opera had a baby who responded to the theme tune once born. More recent studies such as this one and this one give compelling evidence to prove that babies can distinguish between sounds and remember them, measured by monitoring the baby's brain activity. Babies do actually remember sounds from the third trimester of pregnancy and those same sounds can calm them after birth too. This has led people to recommend both parents talking directly to their baby before they are born, as well as exposing them to stories and songs as all these things can be beneficial after birth.

Although some might say the tinkling of the chimes is possibly too gentle, it's a lovely experiment and one that can't hurt. A newborn at the breast may be reassured by the familiar sound of the chimes, and it would be a lovely gift for a mother-to-be.

Mothering the Mother Within

When I first announced my pregnancy, I had a message from a client and friend where she said 'But who is going to "Daisy" you?'

While it's true that in terms of birth preparation there is very little that I need from another person, there is still that desire for support and care during my pregnancy. When I did my doula training we discussed the different 'hats' that we all wear. My concern was how I was going to combine newly single-motherhood, teaching, consulting AND doulaing, exchanging these different hats many different times in a day.

I am busier than ever and I yet I am finding my attention drawn further and further inwards, as all pregnant women do, retreating from the other concerns and winding the processes down. Unlike with my first pregnancy, I am dreading going on maternity leave and taking a break from this job I love so much. This time, the only thing I wanted more than another child was to do my job. A baby I wanted in my heart and yet at the time wasn't quite ready for. 

I have been guilty of neglecting the mother role in my life. It is hard to be self-employed with a child who is not yet in full time school. Yet it has been exactly a year since I stopped breastfeeding and bed-sharing, my son is never carried in the sling and sometimes is now away seeing his father. It feels like this role has been on the backburner even as I frequent soft plays and answer work emails on my phone, or chat to Google analytics as my son falls asleep next to me on the sofa. I find it harder and harder to relate to mothers of newborns. Judah has been accepted to the local primary to start from September, then full time from January.

It feels right. I have spent my time this pregnancy doing the things I never got to, or thought to do, with Judah. Taking weekly pictures, announcement photos, finding birth music, planning a mother blessing. I've treated myself to two new carriers in anticipation. I think once you have had one pregnancy you know how precious and fleeting it is - I feel like I want this one to last forever. We don't know how often we'll get to experience it.

How to transition from mothering other mothers to focusing on yourself? I thought I was prepared when pregnant with Judah but really only now do I feel fully informed. I am not the same person who prepared nothing for her home birth and didn't have a birth plan, believing instead in blind optimism and positive thinking. Do I have a stronger belief in my body's ability to birth now? Perhaps, as this belief has been affirmed by Judah's birth. But I am also far more aware of the various emergencies in birth that do not discriminate between women. I am aware of coerced consent and the various bullying behaviours that can occur at a birth.

I am having a doula for this birth. I could talk about oxytocin and endorphin and the proven benefits of doulas, but why I really want a doula is because birth work is tiring. I want some of that mothering for myself. I want somebody who is just there for me, with no agenda, who I respect and admire as a colleague and a friend. I want this transition into motherhood again to be as gentle and empowering as I know that it can be. I want to share the burden of birth support that has landed on my partner with somebody else, to allow us to relax and enjoy our child entering the world. Before I begin again with breastfeeding, bed-sharing, babywearing, nappy changes, weaning, first words, first steps and immerse myself in motherhood once more. It will be a shock to me to find myself back there.

This is my gift to myself, the mothering of my own mother. Taking time, reflecting, and asking for the essential help that so many consider a luxury, but I know is priceless.