I Got Soul (carrier review)

As the amount of parents babywearing is steadily increasing, I've noticed a huge demand for buckle carriers. I often have a waitlist for consultations to try mine. Parents are realising that high street carriers, usually chosen for convenience and brand respectability, are simply not ergonomic enough for the length of time they want to carry their babies for. As a result I needed to stock some extra in my library...

Introducing the Soul Slings Full Buckle in garnet on maroon, baby size (around £80). They are suitable from 7-18kg (15-40lb). The design immediately caught my eye and I knew that I wanted it in my collection. Soul Slings are a family-owned company with fantastic values. The panel itself is handwoven in India supporting local weavers and the local economy.

I was really impressed with the delivery time from India which was under 2 weeks and the box was well-packaged. If you are buying direct from Soul remember you may have to pay customs fees. When I opened the branded cotton bag I was really excited about the quality of the fabric and the beautiful design. I knew it would be super soft and comfy to wear.

I managed to bribe my very independent toddler to go UP. The carrier buckles around the waist, through a safety loop. The waistband is fairly wide and padded. I pulled the body of the carrier up and put my arms through the straps, rucksack style. There is a clip that you fasten behind your neck that was easy to access. The carrier is incredibly adjustable, with many different adjustments to get a perfect fit. I found it was easy and smooth to tighten and felt perfect. There is a lovely sleep hood in the same fabric to provide extra support for sleeping babies.

What I love about this carrier is that the panel is wide - this is important for those with bigger babies and want a carrier that will last and provide optimum comfort for their child. Although the bigger our babies get, the less knee to knee is an issue, I loved that even my three year old felt well supported in it without dangling legs. If you are looking for a buckle carrier to invest in, this would be a great choice. I also love the shoulder straps which are padded and wide to prevent any digging or pressure.

This carrier can also be used for back carrying, which I was lucky enough to try with a client a few days ago. The feedback was that her baby felt weightless! :)

I am a woven wrap fan but I have to admit the ease and comfort of this carrier and the beautiful fabric tempted me away and I can't wait to start showing it to parents looking to move on from newborn carrying.

(as a brand ambassador, I received a discount on this carrier. All thoughts and opinions are my own :))

 

autumn (goodbye to who you were)

“Everything you are going through is preparing you for what you asked for”

I've had a long September of rest, frustration, contemplation and unending planning. Finishing teaching Daisy under somebody else sooner than anticipated, putting plans in motion to take the business forward alone from October...

As the mornings are getting darker and now we've approached the Autumn Equinox, all these emotions and experiences I've been carrying around are being changed, transmogrified. I could feel the darkness building, it was almost tangible.

I had a session with Emma Burns the reflexologist and it was so helpful to go over everything with an impartial ear and it certainly triggered the ruminations that I've been having in the weeks since.

I've been exploring different sides of myself and really examining my beliefs and questioning the openness of my mind. Seeing how deep I can delve into myself.

Things have been brewing...

I had an altercation yesterday with somebody who has done me very wrong this year. They started trying to intimidate me the way they always used to and I snapped. I felt a hot anger that I have only felt once before in my life and I unleashed it. It felt like venom and surprised me at the intensity that came from somewhere dark within. It stunned them to silence.

I felt out of kilter and wild-eyed yesterday. The month was ending and I was spiralling into that otherworldly place women go to at this time. I felt like a caged animal so I got in the car and found myself sat on a big rock by the ocean, hugging myself, my body opening and watching the waves beating upon the shore, getting ever closer, consuming the beach. It was dark and I knew if I stayed there I would soon be consumed too and it scared and thrilled me.

I have a gentle nature and in my life I prioritise peace and harmony above all things. I have sometimes done this at the expense of my needs and well-being. For me yesterday it was helpful to feel that dark, primitive rage and realise how far I have come from the subdued person who would accept ill-treatment. Ignoring the balance of our natures is detrimental. Behind every gentle mother is a fierce warrior, once cannot exist without the other. 

This year has demanded so much of me, resilience, sacrifice. The self I look at in the mirror has had everything I thought I knew destroyed and taken from me.

On the other hand, a gift. I've been put in the fire and been forged anew.

So I say goodbye to the woman who was me as this season draws to a close, it feels right, it is right. There is a new chapter beginning from the darkness. I am filled with hope and wonderment that I am here, all the unexpected blessings that have since fallen into my lap like ripe apples. I have found trust in the process and that it is all for a purpose. I was not ready before.  

"Coming Out" As Vegan

I want to start this blog off by apologising to my good friend Shane who I once mocked for becoming 'accidentally vegan'.

Because the same thing happened to me.

I became a vegetarian as a child as soon as I was able. Until I had Judah I had been a vegetarian for ten years. I didn't really enjoy the taste of meat or the way that it would sit heavy in my stomach. I used to feel cleaner, lighter, freer as a vegetarian. I didn't necessarily connect it with animals, although I did love animals, but more the way meat made me feel - heavy and clogged.

I also wasn't a fan of dairy. I used to work in Starbucks, steaming hundreds of litres of milk a day. If I forgot to wash one of my aprons it would soon become rancid. Milk in itself made me feel a bit sick, I wasn't a huge fan of cheese, I hated eggs, I pretty much didn't consume many animal products at all.

During pregnancy I returned to eating meat, craving food I hadn't wanted since I could remember. I was concerned that a growing baby might not be able to thrive on a vegetarian diet so I ate meat. I continued to eat it during breastfeeding. My ex-husband was a big meat eater (it's a large part of the Polish diet) so I cooked and ate it too. I would refuse to touch it with my bare hands and used to hate washing the pan. Then one day when Judah was about thirteen months old I was cooking dinner and I looked at the meat and my stomach turned again. I couldn't eat a bite. 

I made the easy transition back to vegetarianism. Veganism always struck me as an extremist diet, used sometimes to mask eating problems, just taking things a little too far. It has been constantly drilled into us from childhood we need the nutrients found in dairy. When I met my daughter's father he was a staunch vegan but never pressed his views on me. Just cooked me amazing food! (if you want to convert somebody, that is definitely the way to do it)

I was picking up food for him from the shop when I realised how easy it was to just substitute ingredients. You could get all the nutrients you needed from the most basic ingredients. Soy, nutritional yeast, chickpeas, beans. Vegan stock, dairy-free sauces, it was amazing. I doubled up on everything and took half home and began to cook. I really enjoyed cooking again for the first time in years, not cringing as I was handling my ingredients, not worried about it not being 'done' and poisoning me.

In my spare time I watched two documentaries - Cowspiracy and Earthlings, along with a video called Dairy is Scary. It completely convinced me. I couldn't believe the environmental impact factory farming has, the emissions, all the grain we feed to cattle that could feed people. As a breastfeeding mother, the reality of how we obtain cow's milk was a tough one. Seeing how as humans we are speciesist, valuing the lives of cats and dogs over cows and pigs, how we don't even question it. Earthlings especially made me feel awful, some of the images will stay with me forever! I was shocked to discover slaughterhouse workers are often perpetrators of domestic abuse, clearly violence begets violence and consuming the product of that violence just seemed so wrong.

The hardest part has been incidental milk products, the strangest things contain dairy, for example salt and vinegar crisps tend to have milk in them! Apparently they add dairy to preserves to make them expire quicker, ensuring you'll replace them sooner. So really examining what I was buying was tough but also pleasantly surprising as to the things that were accidentally vegan! (Bourbons! To which I've rekindled my childhood addiction...) Another hard part has been refusing food and not feeling confident enough to inform others of my decision. So this is how I'm doing it. I've been really nervous about it and I don't know why.

I feel happier, lighter. I'm enjoying feeding Judah meals that I know are nourishing and balanced, experimenting with new foods, considering and ensuring the nutritional value of meals, something I never did as a vegetarian. So I am far healthier now as vegan than vegetarian. I feel like I look better, my eyes are brighter, my face slimmer and I've dramatically reduced my chocolate and sugar intake. Vegan chocolate is expensive and I can only eat a little bit of dark chocolate at a time. I feel like my actions are aligning with my values and it's a really good feeling.

I just wanted people to know, especially those close to me, because it does make things different with regards to gifts and things and it's easier this way. Truthfully I haven't had dairy in about three/four months so it's not a new thing by any means. I say I went 'accidentally vegan', as it was never a conscious decision, I just became more and more aware and stopped seeing animal products as food. I remarked about a month ago that I'd been eating vegan for so long I just needed to admit it to myself.

Sorry to the vegans I silently and not-so-silently judged, now I can definitely admit you were right! But it's been a gradual process and one I had to go through to get here.