I am feeling so much magic in the air as the reverberations of Autumn-Violet’s birth portal are crashing like waves on the shore of my psyche. From a tearful, grumpy morning, to debates around the term “freebirth”...
I once walked through the door of a psychic and he said to me “you’re a midwife”. When I explained what a doula was, he clarified - “a soul midwife, and right now you’re not physically strong enough to carry these souls”.
For my own daughter’s birth, I had a soul midwife, call it freebirth because it was free of medical interference, but the terms mean less and less to me. Like I said to an expectant mother today, whoever is meant to be there will be there. These babies that are choosing these mamas are wise and know how they’re meant to be born. From unassisted birth at home to birth in theatre. We can’t dictate their soul’s journey, we can only lovingly witness and help in any way to make the transition full of love.
My own NHS EMDR therapist I call “healer in disguise”, she’s a wise woman in uniform and has never made me feel violated.
So this is not just a cake. This is the first cake I have made for my children that I made from scratch, because I’m not strung out, traumatised and exhausted, because I’m full of peace, and my milestone includes using real ingredients, including eggs from the chickens that I feed leftovers to every day. I have no regrets for the past - these journeys were vital and necessary and the gifts I gained from them could not be replicated. Wherever I'm going, I want it to be away from purity and towards Love.
I’m taking the time today to feel the appreciation, the magic and the wonder. Letting sun, grace and gratitude kiss me like a lover. Thank you thank you thank you.
Ahava and blessings,
Jenny xxx
