Beltane and union with the Other
It’s Beltane Eve and the Lord and Lady are consummating their union and renewing the land. Deep in the forest she whispers to her champion “You are the one my womb loves best”, and they unite amongst the bluebells with the heady scent of hawthorn on the breeze.
From a young age I longed for union with the Other, could not find the masculine in the god of the church, sought it in all the wrong places, unconsciously tried to re-enact the mysteries with those who could not comprehend them.
I dreamed a few weeks ago that I was on an ice rink with a man, and he was holding my heavily pregnant body in his arms. He kept asking me to relax my weight into him, assuring me that he could carry it. Just a bit more, a bit more, until my resistance entirely disappeared in his arms. Then he was able to carry me across the ice as if I weighed no more than a bird. There was such exhilaration in relaxing into the strength of a master and trusting that he would dance across the ice with me. I felt no fear.
I woke and knew I had met god.
Eroticism between masculine and feminine is the tension that comes from reversal of power. In the romance novels, women desire to be overcome by a force that entirely dominates their being. Through their inevitable surrender they lose themselves in union. When we go deep into the goddess and womb mysteries, we are left in no doubt of how strong the feminine is. She is the thunderstorm, the tornado, the engulfing portal of death and rebirth. She is the devourer and the birther, the nurturer, the mother of all life.
When I close the bones of women after birth I talk about the burden and the blessing of the responsibility of bringing life into the world, or the responsibility of choosing not to. It can be so heavy. To meet the invisible force that says – allow me to carry the physical weight so you can simply glide. To meet the man who says – I know you can do it alone, but you don’t have to.
The relief of that surrender.
My birthday falls on Beltane and I will be 34 tomorrow, so for the next 48 hours you can get 34% off courses related to the womb mysteries, birth and tarot. Use the code MAYQUEEN at checkout.
